"Why Can't You Be More Like...?" The Phrase That's Secretly Killing Your Relationship

Introduction: The Silent Relationship Killer

Relationships don’t usually explode in a dramatic, Hollywood-style breakup. More often than not, they slowly crumble under the weight of seemingly small missteps that quietly accumulate – until they become too heavy to manage. It’s like a leaky faucet; drip by drip, it eventually empties the entire reservoir. As a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve seen this pattern play out countless times.

Partners often come into my office convinced that their problem stems from frequent arguments or disagreements. But when we delve deeper, we often uncover the same underlying issue: the way they communicate during those arguments. What they say, and perhaps even more importantly, how they say it, holds the key to either repairing or разрушение the bond.

And there’s one phrase, in particular, that I’ve consistently observed in these troubled exchanges that's more damaging than you might think: "Why can't you be more like [insert other person's name]?" It seems innocuous, almost a throwaway line, but its impact can be devastating.

The ‘Death-by-Comparison’ Effect: A Slow Burn

If you're using this toxic phrase, your relationship is likely in serious trouble. At first glance, it might seem like just a fleeting expression of frustration in the heat of the moment, a simple sigh of exasperation. What many couples fail to recognize is the insidious nature of comparison.

It's like slowly poisoning a plant. Each dose, while seemingly small, weakens the plant until it can no longer thrive. Similarly, each comparison, each time you hold your partner up to an external standard, chips away at their self-esteem and their sense of worth within the relationship.

Why Comparisons Are So Damaging

But why is this particular phrase so potent in its negativity? Let's break it down:

• Undermines Self-Worth: It directly implies that your partner isn't good enough, that they're lacking in some fundamental way.
• Breeds Resentment: It fosters feelings of anger and resentment towards both you and the person you're using as a comparison.
• Kills Intimacy: It creates emotional distance and makes it difficult to connect on a deeper level.
• Erodes Trust: It suggests that you're constantly evaluating your partner against others, making them feel insecure and untrusted.
• Devalues Uniqueness: It ignores the unique qualities and strengths that your partner brings to the relationship.

The Underlying Message: "You're Not Enough"

At its core, the phrase "Why can't you be more like [someone else]?" delivers a powerful and damaging message: "You're not enough." It suggests that your partner is failing to meet your expectations and that someone else would be a better fit. Can you imagine the impact of hearing that repeatedly from the person who's supposed to love and cherish you?

It's not about simply admiring certain qualities in others; it's about using those qualities to tear down your partner. It’s like saying, "I wish you were someone else," which is arguably one of the most hurtful things you can say in a relationship.

The Comparison Trap: A Cycle of Discontent

The truth is, the comparison game is a never-ending cycle. There will always be someone who seems smarter, funnier, richer, or more attractive than your partner. If you constantly focus on these perceived shortcomings, you'll inevitably find yourself in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction. It's a recipe for unhappiness and a surefire way to destroy your relationship from the inside out.

Think of it like this: you bought a beautiful, handcrafted table. Instead of appreciating its unique grain and artistry, you constantly compare it to the sleek, mass-produced tables you see in magazines. No matter how beautiful your table is, you'll always find something to criticize because you're not focusing on its inherent value.

Why Do We Fall Into the Comparison Trap?

So, why do we engage in this destructive behavior? There are several underlying reasons:

• Unrealistic Expectations: We often enter relationships with idealized notions of what our partner "should" be like.
• Insecurity: Sometimes, comparing our partner to others is a way to mask our own insecurities.
• Communication Deficits: We may resort to comparisons when we struggle to articulate our needs and desires effectively.
• Lack of Appreciation: We may take our partner's strengths for granted and focus instead on their perceived weaknesses.
• Influence of Social Media: The constant exposure to curated and often unrealistic portrayals of relationships on social media can fuel feelings of inadequacy and comparison.

The Alternative: Focusing on Appreciation

Instead of focusing on what your partner *isn't*, try focusing on what they *are*. What are their unique strengths and qualities? What do you appreciate about them? Remind yourself of the reasons you fell in love with them in the first place.

It’s like tending a garden. You wouldn’t constantly criticize the flowers for not being roses. You’d appreciate each bloom for its individual beauty and nurture it to thrive.

Practice Gratitude

Make a conscious effort to express gratitude for the things your partner does for you, both big and small. A simple "thank you" can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and appreciated.

Acknowledge Their Efforts

Even if your partner doesn't always succeed in meeting your expectations, acknowledge their efforts. Let them know that you appreciate their willingness to try and that you're there to support them along the way.

Open and Honest Communication: The Key to Resolution

If you're feeling dissatisfied in your relationship, avoid resorting to comparisons. Instead, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your needs and desires. Frame your concerns in a constructive and non-blaming way. "I feel like we haven't been spending much quality time together lately," is far more effective than, "Why can't you be more attentive like [our friends' partners]?"

Think of communication as building a bridge. Comparisons are like throwing rocks at the bridge, weakening it and making it harder to cross. Open and honest communication, on the other hand, is like carefully laying bricks, strengthening the bridge and allowing you to connect with your partner on a deeper level.

Empathy: Walking in Your Partner's Shoes

Before you say something hurtful, take a moment to consider how your words might make your partner feel. Try to see things from their perspective and understand their motivations.

Empathy is like putting on your partner's glasses. It allows you to see the world through their eyes, understand their struggles, and appreciate their unique perspective.

Celebrating Individuality: Embracing Differences

Remember that you and your partner are two separate individuals with different strengths, weaknesses, and personalities. Embrace these differences and celebrate the unique qualities that each of you brings to the relationship. Trying to mold your partner into someone they're not is a recipe for resentment and unhappiness.

Think of your relationship as a mosaic. Each piece, unique in its shape and color, contributes to the overall beauty of the design. Trying to force all the pieces to be the same would result in a dull and uninspired composition.

The Power of Acceptance: Loving Your Partner for Who They Are

Ultimately, the key to a happy and fulfilling relationship is acceptance. Accept your partner for who they are, flaws and all. Love them not for who you want them to be, but for who they are right now.

Acceptance is like planting a seed and allowing it to grow naturally. You wouldn't try to force it to become something it's not. You'd simply provide the right conditions for it to thrive and appreciate its unique beauty as it unfolds.

Forgiveness: Letting Go of Resentment

Nobody's perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Learn to forgive your partner for their shortcomings and move forward. Holding onto resentment will only poison your relationship and prevent you from fully experiencing joy and connection.

Seeking Professional Help: When to Get Support

If you're struggling to break free from the comparison trap or are facing other challenges in your relationship, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with the tools and support you need to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen your bond.

Remembering Your "Why": Rekindling the Flame

Take some time to reflect on why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. What qualities drew you to them? What do you admire about them? Remind yourself of these things when you're feeling frustrated or tempted to compare them to others. Rekindling the flame of love and appreciation can reignite the passion and connection in your relationship.

It's like looking through old photo albums. Remembering the good times can remind you of the depth of your connection and inspire you to work through the challenges you're currently facing.

The Long-Term Impact: Building a Stronger Bond

By avoiding comparisons and focusing on appreciation, communication, and acceptance, you can build a stronger, more resilient relationship that can withstand the test of time. You'll create a safe and supportive environment where both you and your partner can thrive and grow together.

Conclusion: Choose Love, Not Comparison

The phrase "Why can't you be more like [someone else]?" is a subtle yet potent relationship killer. It undermines self-worth, breeds resentment, and erodes trust. Instead of falling into the comparison trap, choose appreciation, communication, and acceptance. Focus on your partner's unique qualities, express gratitude, and celebrate your differences. By doing so, you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship that is built on love and respect, not on unrealistic expectations and destructive comparisons.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q1: What if I didn't realize I was making comparisons?

It's okay! The first step is awareness. Now that you recognize the impact, focus on changing your language and mindset. Practice gratitude and appreciate your partner's unique qualities.

Q2: How do I stop myself from comparing my partner to others?

Challenge your thoughts. Ask yourself why you're making the comparison. Is it a valid concern, or an unrealistic expectation? Shift your focus to what your partner *does* well and express your appreciation.

Q3: My partner uses this phrase. What should I do?

Calmly and honestly express how the phrase makes you feel. Explain the impact it has on your self-esteem and the relationship. Encourage open communication and suggest finding healthier ways to express concerns.

Q4: Is it ever okay to admire qualities in other people?

Absolutely! Admiration is healthy, but it becomes toxic when used as a weapon against your partner. Focus on your partner's strengths instead of using others as a benchmark.

Q5: What are some alternative phrases to use instead of comparisons?

Try phrases like, "I appreciate it when you..." or "I feel like we could connect more if..." Frame your needs positively and focus on collaboration, not blame.

Unlock Lasting Love: The Surprising Truth About Healthy Relationships

The Power of Connection: More Than Just Luck

We all crave connection, right? The kind that makes you feel seen, understood, and deeply cared for. But sometimes, navigating the world of relationships feels like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. Having healthy relationships can lead to increased happiness and even a higher chance of living a longer life. But how do you actually build those strong, lasting bonds? Is it all just a matter of luck? According to human connection specialist Mark Groves, the answer is a resounding "no."

Mark Groves dedicates his life to teaching individuals and companies the art of strengthening relationships. He's not just throwing out feel-good platitudes; he's built his expertise on a foundation of personal experience and rigorous study. After struggling to cultivate positive relationships in his own life, Groves embarked on a journey to understand what truly fosters connection.

“When I graduated from college, I went into pharmaceutical sales, and I was reading books like “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, “Get Anyone to Do Anything”, all these human behavior books,” Groves tells CNBC Make It. He was learning techniques to influence others, but something was missing. It wasn't until a significant breakup in his late 20s that he realized the depth of his own relational work that needed to be done. He was excelling in sales, winning awards, but struggling to build healthy relationships on a personal level.

The Myth of "Finding the One"

So, what's the biggest misconception about relationships? Many people believe in the "soulmate" myth – the idea that there's one perfect person out there, and all you have to do is find them. Groves argues that this belief can be incredibly detrimental. It puts the focus on finding the "right" person, instead of becoming the "right" person.

The No. 1 Lesson: Relationships are Built, Not Found

Groves' most crucial lesson about healthy relationships is this: they aren't a matter of luck; they're built. "Relationships are not done by luck," he emphasizes. This means that strong connections require conscious effort, communication, and a willingness to grow, both individually and together.

Unpacking the "Building" Process

Self-Awareness: The Foundation

Before you can build a healthy relationship with someone else, you need to build a strong relationship with yourself. What are your values? What are your needs? What are your attachment patterns? Understanding these things is crucial. If you don't know yourself, how can you expect someone else to truly know you?

Communication: The Bricks and Mortar

Open, honest, and vulnerable communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. This means being able to express your feelings, needs, and boundaries clearly and respectfully. It also means actively listening to your partner and creating a safe space for them to do the same. Think of communication as the glue that holds everything together.

Conflict Resolution: Weathering the Storms

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. The key isn't to avoid conflict altogether, but to learn how to navigate it constructively. This involves understanding each other's perspectives, finding common ground, and working towards solutions that satisfy both parties. Healthy conflict resolution strengthens relationships; unhealthy conflict destroys them.

Attachment Styles: Understanding Your Relational Blueprint

Our early childhood experiences shape our attachment styles, which influence how we relate to others in adulthood. There are four main attachment styles:

• Secure: Comfortable with intimacy and autonomy.
• Anxious-Preoccupied: Craves intimacy and fears abandonment.
• Dismissive-Avoidant: Values independence and avoids intimacy.
• Fearful-Avoidant: Desires intimacy but fears vulnerability.

Understanding your attachment style can help you identify patterns in your relationships and work towards developing healthier ways of connecting.

Setting Boundaries: Protecting Your Wellbeing

Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your emotional well-being. They define what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with. Setting boundaries isn't about being selfish; it's about being self-respectful.

The Importance of Shared Values

While opposites may attract, shared values are what sustain long-term relationships. These values could include things like honesty, integrity, family, personal growth, or spirituality. When you share core values with your partner, you're more likely to be on the same page about important life decisions.

Active Listening: More Than Just Hearing

Active listening involves paying attention to what your partner is saying, both verbally and nonverbally. It means putting aside your own thoughts and judgments and truly trying to understand their perspective. Active listening builds trust and strengthens connection.

Empathy: Stepping into Their Shoes

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It's about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world from their point of view. Empathy is essential for building compassion and connection in relationships.

Forgiveness: Letting Go of Resentment

Holding onto resentment can poison a relationship. Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning the behavior that hurt you, but it does mean letting go of the anger and bitterness that's holding you back. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, as well as your partner.

Vulnerability: The Key to Intimacy

Vulnerability is about being open and honest about your feelings, needs, and fears. It's about allowing yourself to be seen and accepted, flaws and all. Vulnerability is the key to building deep, intimate connections.

Investing Time and Effort: The Ongoing Maintenance

Relationships require ongoing investment of time and effort. This means making time for each other, engaging in meaningful activities together, and continuing to nurture the connection. Think of it like a garden – if you don't water and tend to it, it will wither and die.

Seeking Professional Help: When to Get Support

Sometimes, relationships need professional help to navigate challenges and improve communication. There's no shame in seeking therapy or counseling, either individually or as a couple. A therapist can provide guidance, support, and tools for building healthier relationships.

Re-Defining Romance: Beyond the Grand Gestures

Often, we think of romance as elaborate dates or grand gestures. Real romance, however, is found in the everyday acts of kindness, support, and appreciation. It's the little things that show your partner you care and that you're paying attention.

The Ripple Effect: Healthy Relationships, Healthy Life

Cultivating healthy relationships has a ripple effect that extends to all areas of your life. It improves your mental and physical health, boosts your self-esteem, and creates a sense of belonging. By investing in your relationships, you're investing in your overall well-being.

Conclusion: Building Your Relationship Masterpiece

So, are healthy relationships a matter of luck? Definitely not. As Mark Groves emphasizes, they're built, not found. This involves cultivating self-awareness, practicing effective communication, navigating conflict constructively, setting healthy boundaries, sharing values, and investing time and effort. By embracing vulnerability, practicing empathy, and forgiving past hurts, you can create strong, lasting bonds that enrich your life and the lives of those around you. Start building your relationship masterpiece today!

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some frequently asked questions about building healthy relationships:

1. Q: How can I improve my communication skills in my relationship?

   A: Practice active listening, express your needs clearly and respectfully, and be willing to compromise. Consider taking a communication workshop or seeking guidance from a therapist.

2. Q: How do I set healthy boundaries in my relationship without hurting my partner's feelings?

   A: Communicate your boundaries clearly and kindly. Explain why they're important to you and how they will benefit the relationship in the long run. Be prepared to enforce your boundaries if they are crossed.

3. Q: What should I do if my partner and I are constantly arguing?

   A: Identify the underlying issues that are fueling the arguments. Practice empathy and try to understand your partner's perspective. If you're struggling to resolve conflicts on your own, consider seeking couples therapy.

4. Q: How can I build trust in my relationship?

   A: Be honest and transparent in your communication. Keep your promises and follow through on your commitments. Demonstrate your loyalty and support to your partner. Forgiveness and consistent positive actions are crucial for rebuilding trust after a breach.

5. Q: Is it possible to change my attachment style?

   A: Yes, it's possible to shift your attachment style with self-awareness, therapy, and consistent effort. Focusing on building secure connections with others and addressing past traumas can help you develop healthier relational patterns.

Unlock Lasting Love: Avoid This #1 Relationship Killer

Introduction: The Silent Relationship Saboteur

Romantic relationships: they're the source of our greatest joys, our deepest connections, and, let's be honest, sometimes our biggest headaches. We all yearn for that "happily ever after," but the road to lasting love can be paved with unexpected pitfalls. But what if I told you there was one, surprisingly common mistake that many couples make, a mistake that silently chips away at the foundation of their bond? According to renowned therapist and relationship expert Terry Real, there is. And it's simpler, and perhaps more relatable, than you might think.

At the New York Times Well Festival, Real shared a profound insight gleaned from years of working with couples. This isn't just another generic relationship tip; it's a fundamental shift in how we approach communication and connection. Are you ready to find out what's holding you back from a truly fulfilling relationship?

The Revelation: It's Not About What You Think

Terry Real's key takeaway? **"They don’t ask for what they want."**

It sounds simple, doesn't it? Almost too simple. But beneath its apparent simplicity lies a profound truth. How often do we beat around the bush, dropping hints, making passive-aggressive comments, hoping our partner will magically decipher our needs and desires? How often do we resort to complaining instead of making a clear request?

Complaint vs. Request: Understanding the Difference

The Complaining Trap

Real highlights the critical distinction between complaining and requesting. Complaining, he says, is not vulnerable. It's often accusatory, blaming, and rarely effective. Think about it: when someone complains to you, does it inspire you to change? Or does it make you defensive and resentful? The same dynamic applies in romantic relationships. Complaints are rarely productive and often escalate conflict.

The Power of a Request

Requesting, on the other hand, is an act of vulnerability. It means acknowledging your needs, expressing them clearly, and trusting your partner to respond with empathy and understanding. It opens the door for a conversation, a negotiation, and ultimately, a deeper connection. It's about saying, "I need this," rather than, "You always do this wrong!"

Why We Avoid Asking: The Roots of Our Resistance

If asking for what we want is so effective, why do so many of us avoid it? There are several reasons:

• Fear of Rejection: We fear that if we express our needs, our partner will say no, leaving us feeling hurt and rejected.
• Fear of Vulnerability: Asking requires us to be open and honest about our desires, which can feel scary and exposed.
• Past Experiences: If we've been hurt in past relationships, we may be hesitant to trust again and risk further disappointment.
• Beliefs about Relationships: We may hold limiting beliefs about what a "good" partner should do, expecting them to anticipate our needs without being asked.
• Lack of Communication Skills: We may simply not know how to express our needs in a clear, respectful, and effective way.

The Downward Spiral: The Consequences of Unmet Needs

When we consistently fail to ask for what we want, a dangerous cycle begins. Our needs go unmet, leading to resentment, frustration, and emotional distance. We start to feel unloved, unheard, and unappreciated. This can manifest in various ways:

• Passive-Aggressiveness: We express our dissatisfaction indirectly, through sarcasm, nagging, or subtle sabotage.
• Withdrawal: We emotionally disengage from the relationship, becoming distant and unresponsive.
• Arguments and Conflict: Pent-up frustrations erupt into explosive arguments.
• Infidelity: In some cases, unmet needs can lead to seeking emotional or physical intimacy outside the relationship.

Breaking the Cycle: Practical Steps to Asking for What You Want

So, how do we break free from this destructive pattern and start asking for what we want? Here are some practical steps:

Identify Your Needs

The first step is to get clear about what you actually need and want from your partner. This requires honest self-reflection. Ask yourself: What am I longing for in this relationship? What would make me feel more loved, supported, and fulfilled?

Choose the Right Time and Place

Don't ambush your partner with a request when they're stressed, tired, or distracted. Choose a time and place where you can both focus and communicate openly.

Use "I" Statements

Frame your requests using "I" statements, focusing on your feelings and needs rather than blaming your partner. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," try saying "I feel unheard when I'm interrupted during our conversations. I need to feel like my thoughts are valued."

Be Specific and Clear

Avoid vague or ambiguous requests. Be specific about what you want and how it would make you feel. For example, instead of saying "I want more romance," try saying "I would feel loved if we could plan a date night once a week."

Be Open to Negotiation

Remember that your partner may not be able to fulfill all of your requests perfectly. Be willing to compromise and negotiate to find solutions that work for both of you.

Practice Active Listening

When your partner responds to your request, listen attentively and empathetically. Try to understand their perspective, even if you don't agree with it.

Express Gratitude

Acknowledge and appreciate your partner's efforts to meet your needs, even if they fall short of perfection. A little gratitude goes a long way in strengthening your connection.

The Art of Vulnerability: Embracing Open Communication

What is Vulnerability, really?

Vulnerability is the act of showing up as you are. It's about being genuine, honest, and allowing yourself to be seen, flaws and all. It’s not a weakness, but a strength. It takes courage to be vulnerable, especially in intimate relationships. But it’s essential for building trust, intimacy, and lasting love.

Cultivating a Culture of Openness

Create a safe and supportive environment where you and your partner feel comfortable expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear of judgment or criticism. This requires conscious effort and consistent practice.

Beyond Requests: Addressing Underlying Issues

While asking for what you want is a crucial step, it's important to recognize that sometimes, unmet needs are symptoms of deeper underlying issues. In these cases, couples therapy can be invaluable.

The Role of Couples Therapy

A skilled therapist can help you identify and address the root causes of your relationship challenges, such as communication patterns, unresolved conflicts, and emotional wounds. Therapy provides a safe space to explore these issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

When to Seek Professional Help

Consider seeking professional help if you're struggling to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts constructively, or rebuild trust after a betrayal. Don't wait until your relationship is on the brink of collapse. Early intervention can significantly improve your chances of success.

The Long-Term Benefits: Building a More Loving Relationship

The journey of learning to ask for what you want is not always easy, but the rewards are immense. By embracing vulnerability, practicing open communication, and addressing underlying issues, you can build a more loving, fulfilling, and resilient relationship.

A Stronger Foundation

Open communication fosters trust, intimacy, and connection, creating a solid foundation for a lasting partnership.

Enhanced Intimacy

Expressing your needs and desires openly can lead to greater emotional and physical intimacy, deepening your bond.

Reduced Conflict

By addressing unmet needs proactively, you can prevent resentment from building up and reduce the frequency and intensity of arguments.

Increased Happiness

When your needs are met and you feel loved and supported, you're more likely to experience happiness and contentment in your relationship.

Practical Exercises: Putting It Into Action

Ready to put these principles into practice? Try these exercises with your partner:

The "Needs Inventory"

Independently, write down a list of your top 5 needs in the relationship. Then, share your lists with each other and discuss how you can both work to meet those needs.

The "Appreciation Exchange"

Take turns expressing appreciation for specific things your partner does that make you feel loved and supported.

The "Vulnerability Challenge"

Each week, commit to sharing one thing with your partner that makes you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. Start small and gradually increase the level of difficulty.

The Takeaway: Relationships are a Work in Progress

Building a strong and lasting relationship is an ongoing process. There will be ups and downs, challenges and triumphs. But by committing to open communication, vulnerability, and a willingness to ask for what you want, you can create a relationship that thrives for years to come.

Conclusion: Unlock Your Relationship Potential

Terry Real's insight – that the #1 mistake couples make is failing to ask for what they want – is a powerful reminder that open communication and vulnerability are the cornerstones of a thriving relationship. By learning to express your needs clearly and respectfully, you can break free from destructive patterns, build stronger connections, and unlock your relationship's full potential. So, take a deep breath, embrace vulnerability, and start asking for what you deserve. Your relationship will thank you for it.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What if my partner gets angry when I ask for something?
   It's important to approach requests calmly and respectfully. If your partner consistently reacts with anger, it could indicate deeper communication issues that may benefit from professional help. Try to understand their perspective and validate their feelings while still expressing your needs.
2. How do I know what my needs are?
   Self-reflection is key. Spend time thinking about what makes you feel loved, supported, and valued in the relationship. Consider your emotional, physical, and intellectual needs. Journaling, meditation, or talking to a trusted friend can also help you clarify your needs.
3. What if my partner refuses to meet my needs?
   Open communication is crucial. Discuss your needs and try to understand your partner's perspective. If they are unwilling or unable to meet your needs, it may be a sign of incompatibility or deeper issues that require professional intervention. Remember, a healthy relationship involves mutual effort and compromise.
4. Is it selfish to ask for what I want?
   No, it's not selfish to ask for what you want. It's essential for a healthy relationship. Suppressing your needs can lead to resentment, frustration, and ultimately, a breakdown in communication. Asking for what you want allows your partner to understand your needs and contribute to your happiness.
5. How can I overcome my fear of vulnerability?
   Start small and gradually increase the level of vulnerability you share with your partner. Focus on building trust and creating a safe and supportive environment. Remember that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and it's essential for building deep, meaningful connections. Celebrate small wins and acknowledge your courage in being open and honest.